Wednesday 23 July 2008

33 ..I am

syilainai.chocok just celebrated his grand 34 birthday but all alone. No wrapped gift on the bed, no sweet whispered wish from me. Blessed him....I just couldn't grasped why I did missed all this really, really big event for him..Sorry my dear, if I could bring the day back...I will pull myself to orchestrate the most lovely party for you with two special guests..who else..our kids....Silly me..just after 3 days..it was like a spike...I knew I was terribly and accidentally ignoring you.

Well, my days was around....just a week after...I did overlooked my very own 33. Nop....I never pretending and it's really me....Should I call it the dilemma of a studying wife. I felt I have failed him as a wife. And this pisses me off. I always tell myself to prioritize,no chance since striking that right balance is difficult. And I hate not being able to master this.

But as I am...., I do believe....there is still a reserve love between us. Why?? The day we both went and running thru, telling us something goes right somewhere. I'm seemed healing myself from feeling guilty....
Eventually, I got a very huge and memorable gift from the other half(syilanai.chocok).....guess what...I did submitted my paper for silicon valley conference in US...Perhaps, Allah blessed us and gives more "rezeki" to us...so the whole family can celebrate our birthday in California next year even nearly 6 months away from exact date....Insya'Allah

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