33 ..I am

syilainai.chocok just celebrated his grand 34 birthday but all alone. No wrapped gift on the bed, no sweet whispered wish from me. Blessed him....I just couldn't grasped why I did missed all this really, really big event for him..Sorry my dear, if I could bring the day back...I will pull myself to orchestrate the most lovely party for you with two special guests..who else..our kids....Silly me..just after 3 days..it was like a spike...I knew I was terribly and accidentally ignoring you.

Well, my days was around....just a week after...I did overlooked my very own 33. Nop....I never pretending and it's really me....Should I call it the dilemma of a studying wife. I felt I have failed him as a wife. And this pisses me off. I always tell myself to prioritize,no chance since striking that right balance is difficult. And I hate not being able to master this.

But as I am...., I do believe....there is still a reserve love between us. Why?? The day we both went and running thru, telling us something goes right somewhere. I'm seemed healing myself from feeling guilty....
Eventually, I got a very huge and memorable gift from the other half(syilanai.chocok).....guess what...I did submitted my paper for silicon valley conference in US...Perhaps, Allah blessed us and gives more "rezeki" to us...so the whole family can celebrate our birthday in California next year even nearly 6 months away from exact date....Insya'Allah

Syilanai.bibio deserved his sleeping bag

The pressure of doing my studies and being a full-time mother can be intense at times. syilainai.popoyo has few teeny-confrontations about his lacking of attention from me since I started updating my x-periments results last 3 weeks ago. Yeahhhh....Already, he is competing his skin structure with syilainai.bibio's skin where attention is concern ...and now, with more than thousand xperiment loads, his is pretending his skin gets even a lil' bit rash. Blessed him....he's just want his ummi back. Pamper him with lots of emotion lotion...perhaps.

I always believe in life-long learning. It adds value to a person's intellectuality as well as keeping the brain active and function well. To be wife or mother, or sister or friend is not just stay @ home doing the basic traditional wife role. To attain such level as an amazing mum to ur children, we need to think beyond our readymade bound...do bring the happiness and glory to ur career will also simulating ur brain in nurturing the family

So... why am I feeling guilty when Syilainai.popoyo start interrogating??? Why cant I be firm and explain the significance of the whole thing to him? Betul tak? its only 2.5 years more for my study, Insya Allah. but at least I know that my habibi syilainai.choco is behind me all the way.

After a week without upset tummy...Syilainai.bibio brought back home the most curing treatment for me....His school performance is so adorable ...Mrs. Hawkins told us , he is one of the school asset ..Alhamdulillah....Thanks for Syilanai.choco ,Mr n' Mrs. Noel St, Moi, Fieshya, Mahe, Nurul, Hajar,Yati, Nik, Aisha, Mr. n Mrs. Battleman n the others because you all always supporting and helping. So...he deserved his very own sleeping bag "Dr. Who" just right at his leg last Saturday.

Thanks for understanding how important this is to me. Thanks for helping to take care of the kids. Thanks for eating whatsoever food on the table. And most importantly, thanks for your doa. May Allah bless upon our decision and help us through during this challenging times, Ameen. Also, may Allah bring us more good years together too, Insya Allah.

Ohh dear..tummy ache

My heart is uncertained...my tummy fooling me around...I hadn't have any short nap since 1/2 past 10 last night . Certainly, I keep counting up to meet my big boss n' SPAD_chip 2nd man. Dare to believe...I couldn't stay long for my meeting preparation. Blessed me. ALhamdulillah, syilainai_chocok put all his strength to manage this chuppy_cheeky house n' the kids. It was just in blinky time, my tummy dragged me down. I've been the troublesome ummi. Oh..dear tummy...Ya, Allah...please stop the nasty pain.

I asked syilainai_chocok if I'm burdening him....I want to be superummi n' no one can even seeing me sick.

I smile a bit because his answer is so rehearsed, so careful and EXACTLY what I needed to hear.
Well, I'm noticed that, I couldn't go far as superummi but just as nearly perfect syilainai_ummi.

Back to my bed n' let Allah make me sleep n' keep hoping tomorrow I can run the test before 7 a.m...Insya'Allah

Life is such a pleasant stuff in someway..if !!!!!!!

Since last monday, syilainai_ummi has been struggled with huge motivated soul in producing an essential result from ummiing experiment. What such a tighty time frame for syilainai_ummi..since our break to M'sia in just a month time. syilainai_ummi is not really keen when syilainai_popoyo and syilainai_bibio frequently asking syilainai_ummi that they're really want syilainai_ummi bake the cup cakes form them. Syilainai_ummi is not really has proper meals everyday and every meals instead. Ya'Allah, please bless me in my life and I couldn't be a perfect ummi and wiffy without your help. Sometimes, I do realized how can I cope with all the ummiing, stuying, wiffying, daugthering and sistering in 24/7 and perhaps I'm not really want to observe it now...may be later after I finally graduate...Insya'Allah.

A bit jealous with syialinai_chocok due he still can stay throughout all night with his studying stuff. I thought syilainai_ummi is suppose to do that. But syilainai_ummi is such a lazier tired ummi after spending nearly 7 hours running my lovely test at skoll and grabbing with all the housework.. and syilainai_popoyo too. So after some negotiation ( and give some concern on my healty !!!), I decided to put all the doa...let Allah make the better route for me( the benefit of usaha n' tawakkal).

It turned out well, Alhamdulillah. My result is encouraging..sometimes we never realized that Bismillahirahmanirrahim is not only a wish/doa but such a miracle word from Allah to us !!!

Apart of this wellbeing story, syilainai_ummi still thinking about my family future??? Insya'Allah, I'll try my best on Allah will to secure the gift from HIM(my life, syilainai_chocok, syilainai_popoyo and syilainai_bibio) in achieving nearly perfect ummiing, nannying, wiffying and studenting....

So to show my displeasure over thepast, I buried it to nowhere... remain the peace and only strong iman conquer myself.